2019 APR - WE ARE ALL ADDICTS

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What is addiction? Addiction is a means of using a substance or behaviour as an external coping mechanism by which to sooth pain, destress, and to ‘not be ourselves’ for a while. We can be addicted to smoking, sugar, alcohol, working, pharmaceuticals, internet, shopping, eating, exercise, drugs, gambling, sex, porn - the list is endless because the issue is not around what the addictive behaviour or substance is, but the impact and damage of the relationship with it and this can affect not only ourselves, but our family, friends and loved ones. Furthermore, quitting of the addiction usually fails because we never addressed the root cause. I use the term ‘we’ because we are all in this together.

The only way to truly escape from mental and emotional pain is to connect with it, experience it, be with it and see the truth with compassionate support, hence illuminating the disconnection voids with the Illumination sessions. This is because pain is there as a survival mechanism and if we don’t connect with it, as requested by our intelligent neuro systems, it gets stuck inside of us until we do.

In the busy and hectic lifestyles we live today, we all want instant relief, quick satisfaction, distraction, escapism, a quick getaway. Instead of seeing our painful emotions as intelligent signals like a compass and opportunities for us to correct our life alignment paths where we have veered away from our true essence and full potential, we are taught to suppress our emotions and remain in pain and we blame our external environment i.e. our relationships, the world, our jobs, our families, where we live, anything other than going inside to heal our own programming and the ‘out of date’ holographic data we hold in our energy fields. In the words of Gabor Mate (trauma and addiction specialist), “Not why the addiction, but why the pain?” Men especially are taught not to cry, not to feel. We need to address the sacred masculine and feminine energetic balances on the planet now.

Following trauma and/or addiction, we can feel shame at our inability to cope, perhaps our families, friends and society have shunned us, and we thus abandon ourselves, rarely being present in our bodies and fully experiencing self-love or enjoying life because we have disconnected. We just live life aimlessly with no direction.

By way of background to the connection between mental and emotional health and development, trauma and addiction, our ‘original trauma’ is disconnection from ‘the self’, caused by disconnection from the parents, stemming from a lack of physical and emotional holding and mutual responsiveness as children (through no fault of the parents, who were going through their own pain and trauma, as were their parents - this is the karmic, ancestral cycle we aim to take responsibility for and break now).  This puts the nervous system into a recurrent defensive mode, rather than a socially connective one, and we are no longer promoting the ‘in-the-present self’, but living in the past, programmed today by the original child wound and hence why we age-regress when we are triggered in anger and act ‘out of character’ (the internal family systems/multiple personalities we all have). The protective barriers come up and we shut down as a coping mechanism from the pain.  We do not feel safe to be vulnerable, which is what we need to be ourselves and grow, and to love and be loved.  We remain disconnected from our true selves, our very essence, rather than face the pain and the truth, which creates suffering in itself and we turn to mechanical aids, addiction, to temporarily aid the pain.  What we don’t realise is that it takes more energy to hide from our pain for a lifetime than to face and release it.

In the recovery journey, we come from a place of compassion, love and understanding and to provide safety for someone who is experiencing pain ‘from being themselves’, very often escaping into their minds and living in a vacant physical body. Rather than face our painful internal emotions (anxiety, depression, stress, anger, rage) because we find it too painful or because society deems it unacceptable to face the truth of our pain, we turn to these external coping mechanisms or resort to pharmaceutical drugs to mask the pain, rather than looking to heal the original trauma, the root cause of the suffering. This disconnection from the self is obvious today when we experience a restriction in our capacity to respond well to pain in the present, instead, regressing to a similar age around which the original trauma and emotional wound occurred, usually experiencing regular emotional, irrational, triggers to minor situations. We are like loaded, explosive guns with sensitive triggers. If we are not loaded with angry explosives, the trigger is rendered ineffective, thus the Illumination sessions work towards disarming our triggers. But that same pain will cycle on replay throughout our lives, like a scratched record, until we consciously address it with compassion and change that old record to a new one with a suitable brand new frequency that light's up our field.

Instead of seeing our painful emotions as intelligent signals like a compass and opportunities for us to correct our life alignment paths where we have veered away from our true essence and full potential, we are taught to suppress our emotions and remain in pain and we blame our external environment i.e. our relationships, the world, our jobs, our families, anything other than going inside to heal our own programming and the ‘out of date’ holographic data we hold in our energy fields.

Is this you, or someone you know? Please contact me via the Contact page. With love, Dhanu x


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